Today I got a call from B. She wanted to know if my husband, R, was going to crash at her place tomorrow night. When I said no, she told me to relay a message. " I see how you visit every other member of this family before you move but not me. Your a d-bag." And then she started laughing hysterically, "I'm just kidding, but really, tell him I said that." About 15 minutes later she pulls up to the parking lot at her work, and starts complaining. " I was just about to pull into a spot but there is a freakin' scooter parked there." I told her she should park behind it in the spot. And of course that downward spiraled into this.
B: Haha, thats what he gets for driving a scooter, you can't leave until I do.
T (thats me): You should just go pick it up and move it. That would be the greatest Melissa McCarthy move ever!
B: Like just put it in the grass. I found a spot. I hope these people don't want to get in or out of their cars. I'm about to just crawl out of the trunk. OH MY GOD!!!!
T: What is happening!?!?!
B: There is a squirrel and it doesn't have a tail. Do you think it can still climb trees?
T: I'm sure its fine, it was probably born that way, or it had to have tail removal surgery and the tiny squirrel surgeon cauterized it real nicely.
B: Yeah, its playing and being nice, and GETTING CLOSER. Oh My God, do you want to be my friend? Do you want to come home with me?
T: ( Hysterical laughter.) You can't take a squirrel in the car with you, ' B, why do you have all those scratches across your face?' ' Oh, thats just from my tail-less car squirrel, don't worry about it.'
B: Yeah, okay. I have to go to work now.
I mean really. These things happen.
No comments:
Post a Comment